Yes I have a child: the good old fashioned lesbian way

Opps I feel a tangent coming on!

Prepare yourself for the dyke mum tirade.

I don’t need to explain the child to you but I will anyway as sometimes the judgement from within my community’s a strange land to inhibit. Sometimes my community gets it wrong as well. I mention I have a child and its assumed I slipped in my dyke hood and shagged a man, perhaps too drunk to not do it, was unfaithful to my partner, really, I am a bisexual not a dyke, I was once married but now I am not, I am just new to being a dyke, so a baby dyke at this age ;). The thing is.. and I can see their point.. and the main point of their confusion is simpley this. For a child to be created then sperm must meet egg, it’s just a biological fact. The difference is sperm can meet egg in a whole manner of ways all of the above examples being true (for some) and yet untrue in this case. No, their was no turkey bastes used, but still no intercourse either!

So I conceived my child the good old fashioned lesbian way…and I am happy to announce that without the details, well at lest e-mail me for the details. The joke about the turkey basters just that, a joke, look at the size of a turkey baster compared to the mizzle 35ml of sperm you get on average, honest to goodness we aren’t that deep and their certainly not enough man juice to fill a turkey boaster. The whole turkey bester just makes it awkward in this house at Christmas time because it’s probably be the last thing you find in my cupboards’ out of pure pig headed stubborness…. In fact….. I see lesbian’s all along this land standing in protest to this silly stereotype in down right political outrage…refusing to buy a turkey buster from Dunns! Dry birds all over Christmas morning down to this stereotype being taken a bit too far and I ask ya did ya ever really in your hart of harts think we used turkey boasters!..(.it would have to be a turkey boaster if he’d ever hope to fill it) ….tirades over!

 

So I never did get that drunk to get confused and shag a man, nor was I married and recently divorced, I am not nor have ever been a bisexual, I never was unfaithful to my female partners and certainly not with a man, and I have been a dyke a lot longer than 5 years. I am sure the above examples have brought some kids in to this world from within the lesbian community but just not in this case.

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~ by niwomen on May 17, 2009.

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